update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
