What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
