also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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