none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
