your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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