I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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