Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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