I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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