I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
