Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
