im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
