I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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