Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
