Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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