we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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