he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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