I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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