dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
