my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
