I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
