it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
