Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
