I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
