I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
