nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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