you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
