My nipple is on Facebook.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
