I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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