Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
