can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
