I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
