Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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