Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
