I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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