idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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