I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Houston, we have a blender
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize