this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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