thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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