You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
