Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
