I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
