I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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