you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
