Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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