I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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