i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
