So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
