Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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