Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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