I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
