try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
