I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
