I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
