She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
