The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
