Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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