im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
