I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
