So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
