If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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