What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
