Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
