Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
