I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
